A news headline on the Korean Times says that 80% of foreign wives won’t remarry Koreans. Surprising? Not really. And after reading the whole article you would understand why. From most of the women I know who are married to Koreans, the main complaint is the mother-in-law or sometimes the whole family-in-law. Sometimes, I try to tell them that interference by the mother-in-law is more of a universal issue rather than specifically Korean.
I have a friend who’s currently seeing a Korean. The first thing that I told her is to meet her boyfriend’s family first before considering marriage. In this country, when you get married you’re not only marrying the man but his whole family. Even Korean women complain about their traditional role as married women. What more if you’re a foreigner? It doesn’t matter if you’re working or not, you’re expected to do the traditional role of a housewife. You’re also expected to serve the family especially on the holidays. How does preparing the table for all the members of the family sounds to you? How would it feel to be spending money for your in-laws when you can’t even send money to your family back home? It pays a lot to know about Korean culture and Korean language as well to better understand why things are the way they are. It would be a great mistake to marry a Korean man for convenience, because life here is not convenient.
For now I would consider myself lucky that my husband’s family is not like the other Korean families I’ve heard of. I need not spend money for his parents. They wouldn’t even accept monetary contributions for the holidays. They don’t spend a lot of money on gifts as well. My parents-in-law have been very good to me and that they always try to make my life comfortable here. My sisters-in-law have been very helpful as well, trying to explain their culture to me. It’s just me who hasn’t really been exerting a lot of effort to learn, especially their language.
I guess what’s making life difficult here are the government policies. If you’re a Filipina who couldn’t speak Korean that well, your chances of getting a job is slim. Your family wouldn’t allow you to work in a factory and that the only decent job you can get is to teach English. Unfortunately, the government does not allow Filipinos to teach English legally. So for the two years that I’ve been here, I’ve never had a real job. And that’s when the necessity of changing your citizenship comes in.
No matter how advance Korea is with their technology, much of their culture is based on Confucianism. Keep in mind that men here are heaven while women are earth.
More than half of foreigners married to Koreans said they would not marry Koreans again if they were to separate with their spouses, a survey showed Monday.
The Corea Image Communication Institute (CICI) reported that 52 percent of foreign nationals married to Koreans have no intention of marrying a Korean again if they were given a second chance.
The report is based on a survey of 100 foreign spouses living here in South Korea or abroad.
About 80 percent of the female respondents said they would not marry a Korean man for a second time, while 58 percent of males said they would marry a Korean woman again.
Lack of dialogue, excessive interference of in-law family members in household affairs, an indifference toward housework and coming home late were among the main complaints of foreign spouses.
Full story: 80% of Foreign Wives Wonï¿½€™t Remarry Koreans
From what I have heard, Korean language is kind of difficult. I have a Korean friend at work who practically grew up here in L.A. and does not know how to speak Korean. He took Korean classes last year but had such a hard time as there is a formal and informal way of speaking, he stopped going. Are most of the Filipinos and Filipinas in So. Korea fluent in the Korean language?
Thanks for all the info you provide on your website.
I think I received a questionnaire for this particular survey. Don’t have any idea how they knew my e-mail address. It’s both in english and korean but forgot to answer it.
How ’bout you?
I am indonesian married to korean man. It’s been 8 years now and we are great. Anybody with kids? I have one daughter…well if you want to know more about her it’s at: http://homeschoolindonesia.blogspot.com
i want ask how the rule if indonesian lady merried to korean guy,thanks
its true that korean language is very difficult to study especially in my case since I only use english with my husband. It is also true that they have different term for words with and without respect which make it more complicated! It does make me feel so stupid since no matter what I do I feel so helpless learning thier language and I envy the other foreigners who could speak very well. Only thing I’m good at is “Olma eyo?” meaning how much is this? and numbers it’s a must I need to go shopping or I’ll go crazy LOL_. Point is most of the people who learn the language faster are the people who doesn’t have other choice but to use it e.g getting married to a non english speaking husband. I work at an English speaking environment (foreign bank and as an english tutor) and my husband doesn’t talk to me in korean I guess that explains why I never learned aside from the fact that the language makes me CRAZY!!!
hi ate betchay… just finished my CFO guidance and counselling last week and the facilitator actually read this article for all attendees…
this is so three years ago! so tuloy-tuloy na punta mo rito?
yes ate… maybe september-october.. i find it hard to leave my mom, hehe… and processing of papers for intermarried couple is really difficult.
i actually told the facilitator i open your site everyday and encouraged my fellow attendees to read a lot from blogs of Pinays married to Koreans..
that’s understandable, but maybe you could ask your mom to come here later…
I love this topic. Somehow I can relate to what you are discussing. I am a filipina in love with korean man who’s based in Manila. We are planning to get married in the near future. Learning korean language and culture can be very difficult, I am just hoping for the best. Thanks for all the info this can be very helpful.
I actually love the Korean language.
Comparing that to other East Asian languages, I would say hangeul is pretty much an easier language to learn.
Yes, you have to know all the aspects of the language, specially the respectful way to speak to a person. But the resolution to this is to ask the person their age and their position in the society (which is pretty normal upon introduction in Korea) and you should be fine.
Tradition is really the lifestyle in Korea, basing the knowledge I attained from reading on and offline, so if you are not prepared to compromise, you will have a hard time dealing with this part of Korean culture.
Rmjonahs last blog post..Smile Beyond The Cheeks.
It’s so difficult to learn Korean if you’re not motivated to do it… It’s a lot harder if nobody speaks Korean in your home… that, you won’t really learn their language and it really sucks!
But I am so thankful to God beacuse He gave me a wonderful Korean family. ^.^