Before finally deciding to marry my husband, I took the time to research about what life would be for me in his country. I didn’t really have a concrete idea on what life as a “foreign” married woman in Korea would be like since information on the net was rather scarce during that time. (And when I started blogging, I only knew of two other Filipina bloggers here in Korea – Anna Banana and Megastina – who is married to a Canadian. Both are not active anymore but I still keep in touch with Banana through Facebook. I’d never met Megastina since she was based in Daejeon and then Ulsan).
In the Philippines, women who are fiancees or wives of foreign men should attend a seminar conducted by the Commission on Filipino Overseas to “educate” them on what their lives would be once they immigrate. I found it degrading at that time (like I didn’t know what I was doing) but now I understand how important it is. While those marrying (or who are already married) to men in Western countries only need to attend a half-day seminar, those who are going to Korea and Japan are required to attend an extra two-day seminar that includes a one-on-one interview. After the seminar, the women are given a certificate.
As much as were informed on how different Korean culture is and what our chores would be, I don’t remember being told of what could happen to us if our marriage failed. What I found out are:
- The F-2-1 (foreign spouse) visa is sponsored by the Korean spouse. If the husband/wife divorces the foreign spouse, it would be almost impossible to renew the visa. One reason why one should never marry for convenience. Life in Korea isn’t as “convenient” as one might think 🙂
- A Filipino (even if married to a foreigner and is living in a different country) could not legally secure a divorce, which would prevent him/her from marrying again back home. Here’s some information on the net about “Judicial Recognition of a Foreign Divorce Decree“.
- Custody of the children is usually awarded to the father.
What a Filipina (specifically) could expect from a marriage to a Korean?
- Expect to be an unpaid household worker. It is quite expensive to pay someone to do house chores. A wife is expected to do the cooking, cleaning and anything else that needs to be done at home.
- There are three important celebrations in Korea (that most married women dread!): chuseok or the harvest festival, seol-nal (pronounced seol-lal) or the lunar new year and jesa (ancestral rite). In all these occasions, a married woman is expected to stay in the kitchen and SERVE the family (and visitors). I hated my first Chuseok (which happened on my third week here)! I felt like a maid! However, my Korean sisters-in-law had to do more chores. The biggest pressure is on the eldest (not necessarily oldest) daughter-in-law. If one is to marry a Korean who is TRADITIONAL (and non-Christian), then expect to be a maid on these occasions. Or make sure that you’re marrying into a Christian family.
- Marrying a Korean man doesn’t only mean marrying the man himself but his whole family as well. In short, there will be times when you have to give up on that special date just because his family would like you to join them in whatever they wanted to do.
- The Philippines and Korea are only four hours away by plane, but our cultures are different. To this day, Confucianism is deeply rooted in this country. It’s outdated but still, read up on Confucianism to understand Korean culture better.
- If you are going to live with his parents, act appropriately. Think of them as your own parents.
- Koreans love their food (I do too!). Your husband most likely will not eat your super-duper special adobo but he would expect you to cook and eat Korean food. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!
- A Korean man’s salary might go a long way in the Philippines, but it could sometimes only get you to the neighborhood sari-sari store here in Korea. I once talked to a Filipina, on the phone, who married her husband through an agency. She wanted out. She said she just got married because she wasn’t sure she would get a Japanese entertainment visa. She thought that Koreans are as well-off in Korea as when they are in the Philippines. I thought she must be pretty. She said she didn’t know her husband is a taxi driver and that they have to live with his parents. She wanted to divorce and would like to go back to the Philippines. It’s IMPERATIVE that you get married to a man you know and not to someone you don’t even know the name of. And true enough, there are some married women here who don’t know their husband’s name. Of course, even years of dating wouldn’t guarantee that you know a man fully well.
- Career opportunities not in the line of teaching English are difficult to find if you can’t speak Korean. You’ll need the language to negotiate. My first job here, I worked at a news agency (first time I’m talking about it online). I lasted for three days – and I blame it on culture shock. Why? Next item please…
- Koreans may seem to be the hardest working people on the planet. Why? They spend so much time at their workplace. Even if working hours is from 9-7 PM for salary men, it doesn’t mean that a Korean husband would leave his office at exactly 7PM. They usually don’t leave the office until the boss has left. On our first year, my husband worked from 9AM-9PM. He’s home by 10PM. Thank heavens for Yahoo Messenger!They also spend AT LEAST one night a week to drink with their colleagues.
- If your future husband is working at a trading company and he sometimes travel, expect to do a lot of things on your own.
A Korean man marrying a foreign woman, especially someone from SEA, is stereotyped as someone undesired by Korean women – uneducated, divorcee, old, farmer, living in the boondocks. If your (future) parents-in-law are not in favor of you marrying their son, it could be because of this dilemma. They don’t want society to think that their son is undesirable by Korean standards. However, if he still insists on marrying you then he must truly want you to be his lifelong partner. When there’s a will there’s a way. Sabi nga ni Judy Ann Santos: “kung gusto maraming paraan, kung ayaw maraming dahilan.”
Also, just because our cultures are different it doesn’t mean that we have to follow our husbands blindly. Days before our marriage, my husband and I negotiated on our future married life. One shouldn’t expect everything to be all rosy after the honeymoon. That’s when the actual marriage begins. It depends on how much you trust and respect each other that will predict the lifespan of your marriage.
I might update this post later. If you guys have an input or two (violent reactions, additional information, etc) feel free to write on the comment section.
This post is very detailed, very informative and very true. Kaya people, women in particular, shouldn’t be blinded by money talaga. When i was in Korea last October, I noticed na mahirap talaga ma-differentiate ang rich and poor among the Koreans. Is it true din ba that Korean men prefer to marry foreign women kase “materialistic” and “high maintenance” daw ang mga Korean women? And that divorce will only be granted if you can prove that your husband (Korean)is at fault?
Finally, the kind of info that I have been looking for! Thanks, ate Betch. I’ve read other posts alike but quite superficial.
.-= eden´s last blog ..When He Smiles =-.
“On our first year, my husband worked from 9AM-9PM. He’s home by 10PM. Thank heavens for Yahoo Messenger!They also spend AT LEAST one night a week to drink with their colleagues.”
it’s good that your husband does not work for a startup company (venture kiup 벤처 기업 in Korean). For those Koreans who work for startup companies, working hours are even longer. When our company was in the startup phase, we worked until 3am, drank after stopping work until 5am, then slept until 10 am, then went back to work again. We drank almost everyday! And even worse, startup companies are almost always located in incubation sites far from Seoul, so those Koreans working for a startup company almost always live far from their immediate families and see them only during weekends.
.-= algol´s last blog ..Mussorgsky Salonen =-.
“Expect to be an unpaid household worker.”
For traditional households, I think that the boundary is quite clear. Men work and bring home the bacon, while the women do all the household work. I’ve lived with Korean men since 2002, and I could see that Korean men hardly do household chores. Our sink is always full, the toilet hardly gets cleaned, the floor hardly gets vacuumed, and so on… Good thing the company provided us with a cleaning ajumma who comes in once a week.
I could also sense that most married Korean salarymen live on an allowance. As in, their salary goes straight to the household funds (controlled by the wife) and they just take a monthly allowance. On a lot of occasions, some of my married colleagues would borrow small sums like 만ì›. I always thought something like “wtf, mas malaki sweldo mo sa akin, tapos nanghihiram ka?” Turned out, most of the time, they exceeded their allowance, hehe
.-= algol´s last blog ..Mussorgsky Salonen =-.
Hi Algol! We oftentimes underestimate the traditional role of a wife (because we’re so proud of being Westernized!). Unless we’re also bringing home some dough, it wouldn’t seem like we’re worth more than a household help. How could we expect our husbands to help at home when they have been working for more than 10 hours a day!
Hello po.. Just feel miserable. I need a job po. Kasi yung husband ko ginugutom kami. Dito kmi nkatira with in-laws nahihirapan ako. Feel exhausted sa bahay. Lahat kontrolado.. Nanakit pati asawa ko. Gusto na ko alis dito. Thanks po.
Please call 1577-1366 and ask po kayo ng Filipina na counselor.
“Expect to be an unpaid household worker.â€
i agree with what algol said. in addition, this thing is quite changing. i mean there are korean men who also do some household chores thesedays, ( esp. among young couples )Although there aren’t too many of them and maybe they ( men) still don’t do it very often, but at least they’re starting to go out of the traditional.
“How could we expect our husbands to help at home when they have been working for more than 10 hours a day! ”
tama naman c ms betchay! ^^
wow! ang ganda nito. hehehe. naaalala ko yung korean wife na nakausap namin. masaya siya kasi filipino ang mister niya. sabi nya ba naman eh “I encourage koreans to marry filipinos. they do the cleaning, they do the cooking, they do a lot of things…”
hehehehe. katuwa talaga!
.-= Rickspot´s last blog ..Japanese’ Literal Half-Cooked and Alive Fish =-.
positive yung pagtingin ng korean wife..^^
When I married my husband back in ’97, I was totally clueless about Korean culture. When I attended the CFO seminar, it really freaked me out that it had to be a couple of days instead of just one day for immigrants to other countries. Back then, CFO said that they already shortened the seminar. Previous seminars had kimchi making lessons! I gave birth to our daughter in Korea in 2000, we moved back to the Philippines in 2001 and we immigrated to the US in 2003. I am now a US citizen and hubby maintains a greencard. We’ve been married for 12 years and we’re expecting our second child (a boy this time) in February. Hubby comes from a Christian family. When we were living in Korea (we lived by ourselves in Daegu, PIL lived near Pohang), I did try my hand in being the dutiful wife – cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry but hubby kept his fair share – going to the market, washing dishes… we would do groceries together. We were both working at one point until I had the baby. In the Philippines, he did less as far as chores are concerned because we had help at home (we lived with my parents and we had a nanny for my daughter) and we again were working. Here in the US, we have to do everything ourselves (no relatives around). We both do the groceries, we take turns cooking, we both share in cleaning the house, I do the laundry, hubby mows the lawn, I take my daughter to school and pick her up from school, we both help her out with her homework, etc. etc. We both work (I’m a registered nurse) and hubby has his own biz. Hubby thinks he is exceptional (rare breed kuno)as far as typical/traditional Koreans are concerned. I think he might be right. There are times that I think he can be stubborn in his ways as a Korean. But in general, he has been willing to adapt to my ways and upbringing as I am to his. It’s not all rosy…there had been ups and downs. But we’ve managed to compromise, give and take somehow, try to understand each other and still continue with our life together….
i was just browsing for some information about boys over flowers, then i come across this blog and read the messages about being a korean wife. I like your story so much. I do pray that your marriage will work till the very end. I am dreaming of marrying a Korean. There is this guy that I am truly attracted to who is a hairstylist at tony and jacky in angeles, pampanga. We’ve met just once when he was assigned in quezon city last december. I was his customer and we talked a lot of things while he was doing me the haircut. I promised him that I would give him a book to study english. On the day i was supposed to come back to see him again and give the book, he texted me that he had came back to angeles the night before. I am planning to visit him and give him the book one of this day. I want to get to know him well and start from there. I don’t even know if he will like me more then a friend. How I wish and pray he would…. My friends even my relatives keep telling me that Koreans aren’t nice people, is that really true. But the Koreans that I had met seems very warm, friendly and nice… Whom should I believe?
just know him first.. having a conversation is really a good start. just be your self.. reading more about korean culture also really helps..^^
if you’re just going to be friends with them they’re nice to get to know but if you want to be part of their family that’s different. It’s very complicated and their way of thinking is so different from us Filipinos. They’re not so open minded and most of them are defined by what their culture says.
we’re still trying to make a compromise on our roles at home. Since both of us are working, i refuse to do all the chores by myself.
.-= giselle´s last blog ..moving on! =-.
I’m the eldest son’s wife,have no mom-in-law,and those special occasions are celebrated here at home..we live alone though…
during the first few years after my mom-in-law passed away,we used to do everything here,because they say i am the first daughter-in-law,but i changed the law a little bit..kasi i have the power to do so.hehehe..at first i would get angry with my dongso(brod-in-law’s wife) masyado syang maarte..when we went shopping i drive..because she has no car..and when we got home,she would ask what time she should come the next morning for the preparations,if i say the time,she would always come after lunch when everything was already prepared for cooking,and when she came,she would just sit in front of the pizza pan and ask “hyongnim,where is this and that?” which is so irritating for me…so i told her “before you sit there,make sure you have all you need:”..
and then last year i changed the rule..we have rotations in cooking,if she makes the fried things for chuseok,she should cook the meat in seolnal..she said i am unfair..i dont think so, i reasoned like we are all children of our father in law,so we should share the workload..she would always say that i am the eldest son’s wife.but i would say our husbands are both their father’s children..and should have equal share..and if before we cook everything here at home,it’s not the case anymore,she cooks what’s assigned to her in their home and just bring here when she’s done..
i can’t expect my husband though to be like my brothers who help their wives in almost everything at home…but i am happy that he is my husband.
it’s only a matter of compromising,acceptance…it’s weigh and balance….
This is really very detailed. “Unpaid household worker”, eh? Well, then, I guess I just lost my chances hahas. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to do these things thought by men to be something that “every woman should know”. LOL.
Hi Rina! We had maids when I was growing up and I never had to do any chore. For the first few months of our married life, my husband did the cleaning and the cooking. I did the laundry because it was easy. I learned and felt ashamed that I didn’t know these things. Even now that I’m working I still cook and do the laundry, while my husband cleans the floor (because he thinks I couldn’t clean it as well as him).
Hi! I’m still here in Ulsan, and I check your blog from time to time. si Anna nasa Pinas na di ba? been here for almost 9 years now. My hubby is Canadian but still we had our own Korean struggles to share. All I know though is…it gets better.
we’re finally getting out of korea though. new adventure naman next year: sa Brunei! we have 2 kids now (Felicity is 4 and I have a 6-month old son)
take care and blog more! 🙂
Hi megastina! Wow mas maganda weather sa Brunei malapit pa sa Pinas.
ate maganda bang magtrabaho dyan sa koreakc my bf akong korean dt sa macau sabi nya sa akin pagbaLIK NYA NG KOREA KUNIN NYA AKO OK PO BD DYAN .THANKS AND GOD BLESS
what a very nice post..
have a question, is a 3500 usd salary per month in korea, below or above the current minimum salary range?
answer pls. 🙂
Hi apple! That is above the minimum salary range. Minimum salary here is only 4,000 won an hour (less than 4 usd) or about 800 usd a month.
oh thanks for that.. i really love this site and visit this everyday so please keep on posting more especially about korean culture and traditions..
ill be in korea on feb 2010, if you want anythin from the philippines just let me know. my pleasure to bring you some.
always take care and best regards
what is the main requirements to get legal capacity to marry?
“Marrying a Korean man doesn’t only mean marrying the man himself but his whole family as well.”
That’s true of any culture, IMO. I’m an American, married to an American. You might not have them breathing down your neck 24/7 but they are still a part of your husband’s life and they helped make him the man you married. If you despise them, you will probably despise your husband too.
.-= Tamar´s last blog ..1000 Subscribers on Youtube =-.
Hi Tamar! I agree with you. When you marry someone, you’ll have to accept him warts and all. However, in some cultures it would be quite a shock to know that once you’re married to a Korean it’ll be like putting his family first above all including yours. It took me some time to understand this part of their culture. It is quite different from the Philippines where you and your husband can make your own decisions.
ryt!that does’nt mean u jaz marry 1 man but d whole famly!
but i dont regret!i have a wonderful fmily here in korea i luv my mother in law eventhough she have a loud voice and very maratrat!!nsanay n din cguro aq,but in my 1st yr.here in korea i wanted 2 go back in d phils.i regret i walk out in my work!but u have 2 be very patience esp.s aswa m kc #1 p rin s knila ang fmily and ur line at the end!gnun nla ka luv ang fmily nla kya dont b jeluz!esp.c nanaythey will ask 1st her opinion bgo kmi!buti n lng nanay q d2 iginaglang din nman aq!kc minamasahe q xa twing gbi,kya she luv me very much pinagmmlki nya aq!well,klangan tlga gumwa kau ng way pra mkuha loob ng byenan nyo or else mghihirap lng loob m!
I really like how detailed and informative this post is. Thanks for sharing it to everyone~
Just to pique my curiosity though, what would it be like the other way around? What if A Filipino man is married to a Korean and is living in Korea? What would the things he should expect?
Also are there a number of Filipino men that are married to Koreans and is living in Korea?
Forgive me if I may be misreading you on this one but it would almost seem that you hate your life as a houswife married to a Korean and living in Korea. True? Anyway,perhaps this is the huge difference in countries where people from different cultures are everywhere, like the US, and in places where there’s hardly a foreigner living in their midst. I wish you well on your life there in korea.
No, I don’t hate my life here as a wife married to a Korean and living in Korea. I love my life here and I love my husband and his family as well. I posted this article because I’ve been getting a lot of emails from Filipinas asking for advice about marrying a Korean man. Sort of like telling them what they could expect so they won’t be shocked later on and complain that nobody told them about life here.
lots of first hand information here. thank you for sharing and this is absolutely helpful to women/men marrying into another culture. i was just wondering if there are Korean women married to Filipino men that you have met there?
.-= kayni´s last blog ..Finding Kayni =-.
Hi Kayni! I’ve only met two Filipino men who are married to Korean women. One of the things they have difficulty with is making a living. Even if one is a foreign husband, he’s still expected to bring home the bacon.
This is an actual “fact” from an experience from a spouse who’s married to Korean husband, not just some bs stories that are lingering online. Truely the best information online!
thanks for the information… iv been staying here in korea for almost 3 yrs.. and married to a korean. iv been wanting meet u.. can u send me your email add or cell no. email me at:wea_p@yahoo.com
This is a very detailed article. I believe that it is very important to learn and understand the culture of the one you are marrying to. This would help your foundation with your husband.
gud pm betchay! salamat naba ko yung blog mo here.asawa ko po ay korean at may anak po kami lalaki,diko sya ibinalik sa knya andto sya sa pinas…bitchay give me your email add plsssssssssss….or add me katlyson@yahoo.com
hi sunkist! send mo na lang ako ng message sa “contact” kwento mo sa ‘kin istorya mo
acoh
... din po .. pa-email ... mag-aasawa pa lhanq aqohnqaun ng koreano .. xah dec.2012 .. advice nmn po…my email is nhina0117@yahoo.comHello there Ms. Betchay! I’m Cerylhen from Makati. I have a korean boyfriend and we love each other very much.~
He’s 27 years old and I’m 18. There’s still a lot of time for us to share before getting married. Well, he said to me that’s it’s okay for him if I continue my studies for 4 years. But when I said after graduating, I need to fulfill 2 years working experience, he refused~ hhaha.. we have the same thing in mind. We both cannot wait for each other for 6 years! It’s too long isn’t it?~ But he said that he will find another way/ option~~~He has not yet proposed to me but he told me that he will retire from his work after 4 years (he’s an I.T. network developer) and put up his very own business. I think that’s the time when he’s ready to propose.
I’m concerned of what job could I have after 2 years of staying in korea?~~~~~
~~~~(as far as i know 2 years after marrying a korean will certify me as a korean citizen)~~~~ Could newly naturalised foreigners eventually apply for a stable and white collar job in korea?
What do you think of this scenario Ms. Betchay?
Ms. Betchay, just in case you need my contact email: cerylhenmodesto@gmail.com
I’m looking forward to your reply. ^^, You are a blessing to everyone.
Hi Cerylhen! You asked about my opinion right? I think you’re still young. Experience life first as a single woman. I met an 18-yr old Filipina here who got married to a Korean about 5 years ago. She said she wasn’t ready for life here so she returned home less than a year after she came here and got divorced. She went back to school and finished her degree. You might want to finish your studies first before getting married. If he’s already refusing your wishes, think about what could happen when you get married.
Hi cerylhen! i’m ping and I’m 19 years old. I also have a Korean boyfriend and somehow i could say that “we’re on the same boat!” hehehe. I can understand why you can’t wait to be with each other coz we are too. 🙂 yet i always remind myself that though i wanted it so much i’m still not ready for it. He already proposed to me and I already said my big “yes” but i told him that it doesn’t meanthat i would live with him in Korea after college. He knows my plan of going after my bother in London. Though he’s doesn’t agree to it a 100%, he does understand that i’m still young and it would be best for me if i pursue my dreams first before settling down. I think it’s really important that we think of the future first before we make decisions. If i would just listen to my heart, i will surely be rushing to Korea after receiving my college diploma. hehe ^,^
Hello cerylhen. When i was at your age, i met a Korean Man who was sent to Philippines for studying english together with his co-exchange students. That time he was just 24. I was introduced to their group as there Sunday Tutor since they don’t have classes on Sundays. We became good friends and later on to lovers. And at our very young age, we are both aware of the future that we are going to have if we rush things. We both decided to fulfill first each other’s dreams and whatever happens during this wait, we both will accept it.
5 years later..
I am now a Public Accountant
He is now a licensed Architect
and
We both now are
Happily Married.
Hello, Dear Ms. Betchay! I am not from Filipinas, I am from Central Asia. My homeland is Kyrgyzstan. I have suddenly faced this blog and I am glad that there are some women who have experience of marriage to korean men and living in Korea. I am married to korean man too. We met first in Kyrgyzstan. He had worked there at the construction company and we lived there. Currently I live in Daegu. I have arrived here being pregnant in July 2009. In september I gave birth to my son. Now I have no any friends here and don’t attend any cultural classes due to the fact that my son is too small and keeps me constantly busy. So I was glad to know that I am not alone who experience such cultural shock. I don’t speak korean and cannot talk to someone except my husband who speaks poor English. I need to find some friends who speaks english, russian languages. Could you give me advice where can I find some kind of communication.
Thanks, with the best wishes Ella.
Hi Ella,
I can understand your situation. I married a Korean guy in 1997 and we lived in Daegu until 2001. I had my daughter in 2000, so that gave me time to adjust to Korean culture before I had a baby. It’s harder once you have a child to look after. When I was in Daegu, I attended Korean language courses at Keimyung Univeristy. Ask your husband to look into it, maybe you can enroll and it will really help you in being able to adjust and you won’t feel so isolated.(The classes are not daily, maybe just 2 or 3 times a week for an hour). I wasn’t really fluent, but I learned to communicate somehow like when I’m buying something from the market or grocery, giving the taxi driver directions, talking to my mother-in-law…You can also attend churches (I don’t know what your religion is) and meet other foreigners since there is usually an international community in places of worship. Good luck!
BTW, here’s a link to Keimyung University’s website…
http://www.kmu.ac.kr/
Hello Mrs. Betchay:
JUst a quick question. Am I qualified to visit Korea without a visa ? Im holding a work permit for Canada at the same time a re-entry visa and of course a confirmed ticket going back to canada. Im planning to visit south Korea before heading back to Canada. Hope you can help. Thank you.
Tessa
How about a Filipino man marrying a Korean woman?
Hi Betchay,
I am a Filipina married to a Filipino and leaving here in Australia for almost 9 yrs. now.
I have recently became a fan of Korean dramas and I came across your website while browsing the net.
I just wanted to say that I have been reading your blogs about your life there in Korea and I find it very informative.
Keep up the good work!
hello ms. Betchay…i really find this article very interesting. thank you so much for the information. 🙂 i’m also in a relationship with a korean. we’ve been together now for more than 2 years but it’s a long distance relationship. i’m still in my college years while he is already a working professional. he already asked me to marry him after college and live in korea with his parents. marrying him is not a problem at all coz i would love to spend the rest of my life with him but living with his parents?…it scares me. i already met his sister, though she has been so nice to me it doesn’t conclude that his parents would be too.right? i still have a year to think about that stuffs but i can’t help worrying about it and my future as early as now. i hope you can give me some advice ms. betchay. thank you!
hi ping! after school, find a job and enjoy your singleness… joke!
my PILs didn’t like me when i first met them, but now they’ve been telling me that i’m their favorite DIL 🙂
and as a matter of fact, they’d like to live with us… i don’t have any problem with that and i’d love it
…then i guess it all depends on the kind of PIL i will have in the future if I marry him.hehehe.i hope i could also be as happy as you are if it happens. 🙂 and rest assured that i will really enjoy my “after college” life first before i settle down with him in Korea. I’m already planning to go after my brother in London but when i told him about it, he’s kinda worried. He thought that it might ruin our plans. I don’t want to go to Korea yet after college coz i still want to work and earn money on my own. He’s coming over on the third week of the month, should i talk to him about the matter? wouldn’t it be too early to talk about?
It’s nice to hear na you’re In-Laws like you so much. Ang hirap pla maging wife ng mga Koreans. Sayang, gusto ko pa nman mapangasawa si Jun Pyo (Lee Min Ho) hehehehe
hi mrs.betchay
im so glad kz nbasa ko ung blog muh..grabe sobrang interesting sarap bsahin spcially for those filipina’s getting married with korean guy..im also married in a korean he is 40 yr’old and im 21..bgo plng akuh d2 sa korea nung dec’20 po akuh dmtng d2”and 3days ko plng nka2sama unh parents nya kasi kga2lng lng ng hospital.grabe sobrang naiilang tlga akuh kumilos kz d pn akuh mxado mrnong ng language nla’pati sa pgkaen nhi2ya akuh kmaen kasi sla yung nagpprepare ng foods..anu ba need kong gwin ms.betchay.?hindi padin kz akuh marunong magluti ng foods na kinakaen nla..help me naman po..amail mo sken yung reply mo..lynrobles_89@yahoo.com
thank u poh..more power..
hello im mila d2 ako ngaun sa macau kasama ko ung bf korean we live here morethan two years now. pero uwi na sya after two months from now tapos ako uwi muna pinas. tapos saka nya ako kunin punta dyan sa korea promise niya un pati mother niya nkasama ko dto sa macau.alam mo marami na akong alam na korean food at pati paggawa ng kimchi marunong na ako at pati pagbabasa ng language nila at pagsulat kc tinuturuaan ako ng bf ko para pagpunta ko daw dyan may alam na akong magkorean.nakakailang talaga pero sabi mo nga mabait ang beyanan mo.una mo munang pag aralan ang kimchi kc yan ang traditional food nila.
hi! curious lng ako tlga na mkapag hanap ng kababayan d2 sa place na tinitirhan ko ng mahanap ko ang site na to. actually, habang binabasa ko natatawa nlng ako kc sa ngaun unti unti ko ng nararanasan an ‘ISANG MALAKING PAG AADJUST’ sa pag aasawa ng korean. at heto nga, kasapi na ko sa mga dakila! dakilang ina at asawa dahil may anak na lalaki ang napangasawa ko. instant nanay na agad ang role ko, tnx d2 sa site nyo. at least khit pano po, may mkaka usap akong kalahi ntin d2. tnx po and more power….. godbless!
hi aileen! saan ka sa korea? isa talagang malaking pag-addjust ang pag-aasawa ng Korean at hindi natin malalaman yun hanggang walang magsasabi sa ‘tin… at lalo na kung hindi natin kilala ang asawa bago ikasal 🙂
d2 po ako sa namyangju, gyeonggido. actually, d2 ko rin nakilala ang asawa ako dhil b4 kmi kinasal eh nag work n ko d2 as entertainer. tnx po sa reply nyo, cyanga pla dami nyong fans… more power po, keep safe! tnx po tlga….
Hey Betchay. I really like what you’ve written. I am married to a Korean for 4 ears now and we have 2 kids. We’re staying here in the Phils now but come March we’re going to Korea and probably stay there for good. what you’ve written is really true coz even my korean friends kept on telling me that life in Korea is different from here. There’ll be no nannies to take care of the little tykes and you have to do the cleaning and all the other stuff. I’m actually afraid coz i dunno if i can do all of those things but home is where my husband is. so i’ll take the chance . and i’m keeping my fingers crossed that all will be well. i hope i can get to meet you. We’ll be staying in Seoul. Take care . Ciao
Hi Myla! Sure. When you’re here, just drop me a line and we can have coffee 😉
Don’t worry about the chores. I am ashamed to admit that I didn’t know how to do them either, but my husband was patient enough to help me.
As I was reading all your notes, Ms. Betchay, I can feel how loving and supportive your husband is…I’m so happy for you!
Wala bang kapatid yan? hehe…joke lang po…di ba short tempered sila pero super sweet? Pakikiligin ka sa concern?
hi ms. betchay, thank you for creating this blog..after searching and browsing the internet where to find filipino community in Korea, finally i came to find your blog. if you dont mind , I just want to ask few questions about the cost of living in Korea. Right now ,we are living in Singapore. My husband got an offer to work in Seoul. He is considering to bring us there together with our 2 kids. My concern is about the cost of living. How much is the school fees, food, housing, electricity, etc? What is the salary enough to have an average quality of life in Korea? for this one, just want to make sure that he gets the best offer.
I will be very greatful with your reply ms.betchay. It’s one of the greatest factor for our decision as well.
Thank you! and best regards.
I was supposed to send you an email last night but my son had stomach flu. I’ll just write a post on this tonight.
Hi ms.betchay! how is your son? I hope he is ok now! Just take your time. I will just check my email from time to time for your reply. More power to you! God bless!
I don’t agree with the “unpaid housemaid” part. It’s very degrading to consider yourself a housemaid in your own house. It’s the responsibility of every married woman, working or not working to take care of household activities. If you do it because of your love for your family then you will not think it’s unpaid. One more thing,doing household chores is much easier in Korea because of technology. Life would not be convinient even in the richest country unless you will not work hard for it.
Next time I should be careful with the way I post things. I sometimes forget that my friends aren’t the only audience here. 🙂
However, I came from a country where household chores are done by paid house helpers; and I was quite shocked when I had to serve all the members of the family first (including the husband of my sister-in-law) and us daughters-in-law had to wait for them to finish before we could eat. I had never experienced that in my life before I came to Korea, so that was something new to me. Most of what I’d written in this post is meant for a Filipino audience and I’d think that they would somehow know what I’m talking about.
I agree with you that household activities shouldn’t really be a problem. Like I said, if one hasn’t done those things before they got married then adjusting is necessary. But ever wonder why even married Korean women complain about household chores especially during the holidays?
hi po ate betchay good afternoon po sa inio…pwd nio po vah aqng i add sa yahoo?marami po kz aqng tanong about married in korean please hope to hear me…e2 po email q chara_park45@yahoo.com
hi po ate betchay good afternoon po sa inio…pwd po request?pwd nio po vah aqng i add sa yahoo?marami po kz aqng katanungan about married in korean…hope you hear me…e2 po email q chara_park45@yahoo.com wait q po at sana i add nio q…salamat po ate at god bless po sa inio with your family:)
hi I am archie, wow! ang ganda nito. hehehe. naaalala ko yung korean wife na nakausap namin. masaya siya kasi filipino ang mister niya. sabi nya ba naman eh “I encourage koreans to marry filipinos. they do the cleaning, they do the cooking, they do a lot of things…â€
I also wanna marry korean women, because I love their culture and foods and evrything about korea, I wanna marry a christian korean, I wanna work also in korea, I wanna go in korea but I dont know when is that yet hahahaha. I didnt see a filipino man married to a korean women yet. whats dat gonna be? if the case is like that?
hello po i have plan to visit in korea as tourist and hopefully marry to korean his not typical korean he graduated in stanford and he had been staying there almost 10 years in U.S , he did house hold chores as well ,hes very sweet guy we have been staying together for almost 9 months in philippines we had fight, arguing,and even attempt cool off on the goodside we even play hide and seek and even wrestling ,honestly im old enough to do such things im already 30 and his 34 i met him at club 526 launge in my work place i get attracted to him and after 2 years we met again and i decided living with him at rockwell however unfortunately buisness here in phil wasnt that goodcoz hes biznz manso he decided to go back in korea and start again for our future i feel very sad coz i thought wel stay here in the philippines for good my bf aswell does not want to go back in korea but he didand if evr his family doesnt like me may be there something wrong will hAPPEN TO US sooner,well ,as of now il do wat i can do for this relationship ……. il just think positive .tnx
This article is so true!
I’m also married to a Korean man and they are so traditional, conservative and nationalistic.
And i would like to add, Korean husbands in general, don’t want their wives to always go out (“lakwatsa / pagala-gala”).
When I was in the Philippines, I enjoyed my freedom so much. Gimik dito, party doon. Malling and coffee shop with friends, pag konti na-bored lang sa bahay, labas agad. In short, strolling around the mall and going out has always been my favorite hobby. But my freedom ended when I came here.
I love my husband, and i understand that he is just trying to protect me from possible danger luking around outside, but still…i miss going out.
wow.. this purely based on experience. thank you for sharing! i have another look about korean style/ culture. I’m into korea, kpop and everything. I also have plans yo travel to korea.. ^^ thank you! have a nice day! HWAITING!!
It’s really true about koreans being the most hardworking people. I had a korean boyfriend, and we have been together for over a year. I met his family in Korea, and they all liked me. I was the first girl he ever introduced to his parents. But when he started working, things began to change. He barely had time for me. Sometimes I don’t believe him that he is just busy with “work”. A simple text wouldn’t take so much time. My korean friends tell me that I should understand and just wait for him. But I didn’t and just broke up with him. Sometimes, I am thinking if I am at fault. Is it true that most Korean women do the waiting and courting? I’m a typical Filipina and it’s not in my blood to run after men.
Dear Mam,
Good day,
I have a problem regarding of my fiance that working at the korea.She gave me some documents needed to applying a visa here at Philippines Embassy late last month but after submit it was deny.Actually she are planning and invite me to korea to be getting married her.But suddenly the embassy not approved the invitation.What solution might be work regading our situation?She got divorse last Oct.2009 by korean man fyi.
hi po ate bechay good evening po sa inio:)
aq po c chara 22 years old…
may katanungan lng po sana aq at sana matulungan nio po aq sa aking problema…
may asawa po aqng koreano 36 years old at 1year and 7months na po kming kasal,sa pinas po kmi ikinasal at may isang anak na lalaki na 9months plang d2 q po xa ipinanganak sa korea.at 1ng taon na po sana aq mahigit d2 sa korea pero nacancel po ung visa q na f2 nung umuwi po aq sa pinas nung january 2010 dahil po nag away kmi ng asawa q,bumalik po aq d2 sa korea nung feb2010 at panibagong visa ng f2 po uli. dahil ndi q po matiis ung baby q na iiwan q lng sa asawa q kaya bumalik po aq d2 sa korea,nung bumalik po aq d2 nasasaktan po aq ng asawa q sa maliit lng na bagay dahil mainitin ang ulo ng asawa q.at ilang beses na po nia qng cnasavhan na magdivorce na raw po kmi sa 2wing nag aaway kmi ndi nawawala sa kania na savhan aq ng “KKKAAAA” at magdivorce daw kmi,kht man sa maliit lng na bagay pinapalaki nia.pero aq po ang ayoko dahil iniicp q po ang baby q,ate qng magbabakasyon po vah kmi sa pinas kasama baby q at asawa q maaari q po vang makuha ang anak q ibig q pong savhn qng magpapagawa po aq sa pinas ng birth certificate ng bata para lng magkaron record baby q sa pinas.ano po vang dapat qng gawin sa pinas kapag nagbakasyon po kmi dun at balak qng mapasaakin ang anak q?sana po ma2lungan nio po aq sa aking problema…
lubos pong nagpapasalamat:)
chara:)
ms betchay gano po katagal makakuha ng cenomar sa korean embassy? para po malaman ko kung at least ilang days magsstay dito ung fiance ko. sabi po kasi sa munisipyo yung cenomar daw niya dapat galing sa embassy at hindi yung dala ng fiance ko kahit na bago pa yun…
p.s my pagkakaiba po ba ang itsura ng cenomar na galing embassy at galing mismo sa korea? i mean tatak po ba yun na galing ng embassy….thank you po
Hi Ms. Betchay,
Have a pleasant day!
I will be in Korea soon and I want to learn their language as soon as possible. Can you please share to us what are the possible school or learning center in Yongsangu Seoul, Korea?
ms.betchay,
hi ate…aq po c ires 31 yrs old po ako sna po matulungan nyo ako gusto ko kc mg asawa ng koreano kaso wla po ako alam n agency o lugar n pde ko puntahan pra po mkapg asawa po ng koreano sna po mtulungan nyo ako…mraming slamt po
To ires i guesss my mga site yan sila madami na din koreans na gusto maka pag asawa nang filipina…but are you really sure that you would marry a korean? think of it a million times.. heheh
Helo te betchay
I just read your message and i could say it was all true for filipinas who want to get married by Korean you really have to pay attention to C.F.O seminar at first you might think it’s boring but in the end you will find it very intersting and helpful.. but i guess in Philippines right now it’s not that easy to get legal capacity.. they’ve been strict. Te betchay for whereare you in Korea right now?
Hi Ms Betchay..
How about my case..i married a very nice Korean girl here in the Phils. she was my student for about 2 years before we started dating. Now on our 3rd week of marriage! Soon we will be moving to Korea and i wanted know more about the CFO thing i need to go through.. What is it exactly and what do i need to do there? Ur help will greatly be appreciated! ^^
before marrying a Korean, you should know that alot of them are spoiled, selfish, arrogant, aggressive, manipulative and plain unpleasant.
on the surface I thought Korean girls were gorgeous! But when you get to know them, their personality, it is the opposite. they are so incredibly ugly.
Koreans have a culture of survival at all cost. or perhaps it should be profit at any cost or look out for number one and anyone that gets in the way beware. They treat employees, such as maids, cleaners, nannies, etc like slaves and have absolutely no guilt in doing it. they pay them next to nothing and expect them to work 14 hours days minimum. if they don’t they consider them lazy. Meanwhile they work 4 hour days!
they will take advantage of any situation to benefit themselves.
an example is on vacation in Japan, while in a hotel I was in the health centre. you have to pay to use this gfacility. I let one Korean into a health centre out of pity. He taps on the door and bobs his head and clasps his hands to be let in. I feel sorry for him and let him in. I go to sit down again and before I’ve regained my seat he opens the door and let’s in no less than a dozen others! a quiet peaceful place turns into a noisy crowded place. they don’t care if they disturb you. They used all of the chairs, all of the free items, such as towels, drinks, snacks, etc. They squeeze in beside me and literally push me off the bench that I was on. i had to leave because i had no place to sit anymore and they turned it into their personal party room!
another Korean in Canada. was supposed ly my friend. He would always ask me for help. instead of making the effort to learn how to do something, instead he would say I don’t know how to do this. can you do it for me? I would show him how to do it but he didn’t pay attention and even walked away while I was explaining it. Then he says he doesn’t understand, can I do it for him?
then when I need help, he says he is too busy and tells me I have the nerve to bother him when he is so busy!
another example is the children are taught to win and do well no matter what. Cheating and lying is fine. In order to get good grades, cheating on exams and asignments is “clever”!
If you date a Korean girl the guys will threaten you to go look for your own kind! but it’s ok for them to use and lie to non-Korean girls and hurt them and laugh about it.
I can go on and on. They are raised to be selfish, arrogant, conceited, competitive, etc.
they don’t know better. i blame the Korean war. they lost so much culture and just learned that they have to do whatever it takes to survive. you screw over the nicest person in the world as long as you come out on top.
In Canada, in a hockey tournament, A korean minister, yes minister! starts a fight during a hockey game!! he instigates it by jumping over the boards and sucker punching the other team’s guys! also in the same tournament. another korean team after telling the organizer they have no illegal players, recruit 3 guys from the top division onto their team. this team beat every other team by at least 5 goals. They got caught and disqualified. But the blatant disregard and disrespect for the organizer, the other teams and players is disgusting.
They have to lease cars such as BMW or mercedes to make themselves look good. If you don’t have one then they are better than you.
Koreans in general are not nice people. I started out loving the culture, people and everthing. then I gradually turned to hating them. they are not nice! I have met a few nice koreans and to them I say sorry for writing this. But the vast majority are bad people!
If you drop some money on the ground. I was raised to tell the person you dropped your money! the Korean will stay quiet and then take the money for themselves.
the Koreans use guilt to their advantage. they use anything to their advantage. So they go to japan and most Japanese feel bad about what happened. So they try to help. The Koreans go over and learn and steal as much information as they can. then they use it for themselves. they then go and sue the Japanese because they didn’t get 100% of the information. or that the product they built wasn’t as good as the Japanese. Look at korea’s car industry. everything is stolen and copied from other countries.
Look at the Seoul olympics. The boxer lost to a Canadian and so the coash and the boxer start attacking the Canadian boxer, trainers, coaches, etc.! disgraceful!
I believe in Karma.All the bad things that happened to koreans and Korea is because of the way they act! what comes around goes around.
so I believe the North Koreans will blow up the south eventually and I say good riddance!
I am a nice person and always give the benefit of the doubt to a person. but I’ve had enough. What I’ve written is just the tip of the iceberg! all of this I have witnessed first hand!
koreans in general are a nasty people! again for my true Korean friends and the small minorit of nice Koreans. I’m sorry!
hi ms betchay, im not sure if you remember me but finally im getting married to a wonderful korean man this june,.im here in canada (and both me and my soon-to-be-hubby) will most probably settle here but my problem is we are getting married in the philippines, and my father was asking that my fiance needs to send a letter/ certificate which states that he has the legal capacity to marry (for our marriage license).. my fiance is in korea now, and he sent some docs to my father but it seems like it is not what they wanted back home.. could you please help me with the step-by-step process or at least give me a number which i can call and inquire.. thank you soooo much.. really appreciate it.. ^_^
hope you can help me with my research about Korean and Filipina marriage..
Mom,
Thank you for the information that you have given, it really helps a lot. I am student now in the seminary, if God allows i will graduate this march and plan to seriously prepare my marriage. I really need guidance and directions, even though i have been in korea for two times for mission purposes but i still have many things to learn. What are the things should i prepare as a Filipino in getting married a Korean? I think i really need people support in Korea specially accountable partners in which i think is the most challenging part because i only have one friend in Korea. Mom….i am in relationship with a Korea and two of us are really praying……hopefully this site could be the bridge or means prepared by God…this just to make it clear mom, i will not marry with a korean because of convenient, if God allow we will marry for mission here in Philippines. Blessings to you and family. Hope you could help me.
very nice tips (and warning na din)! hehehe.
.-= Rickspot´s last blog ..For Sale Mitsubishi L300 Versa Van Philippines =-.
Good day,
nice post. very informative. last year, I have read something about getting married either in philippines or south korea. My korean girl and I are planning to get married this coming december ^_^. I have been searching but I couldnt find again the blog that you have posted. We havent decided yet where to get married and we are searching now the steps on how to and which country is easier for both of us. Can somebody help me about this? many thanks
hi night fox san kayo nagkakilala ng girl mo. is it posible i can get a korean girl as wife.
Hi Catseeker! If it’s difficult to marry a Korean man (because of the culture, etc.) it’s more difficult to marry a Korean woman. I met two Filipino guys here married to Koreans and they had difficulty being the provider in the family.
hello ms betchay!
ask ko lang po pag napadala ko na yung nso sa hubby ko, gaano katagal po un bago maparegister ung marriage namin? minutes? or days din po? thank you
hi annie12! kailangan niya i-translate sa korean yung document tapos yung registration will only take minutes… pag registered ka na as his wife, papadala lang niya yung papers sa ‘yo at dadalhin mo sa Korean Embassy…
ate betchay.. please send me your email add.. or add me .. I need some advise.. pow… eh kac lahat ng nabasa ko na negative sa korean.. nasa asawa ko ,.na korean.. may itatanong lang po sana ako… .
hello,miss betch..
hello… Ms. Betchay..i was wondering that i found these site, i have many concern about marry Korean guy.. finally,it was confirmed that we’re getting marry with my Korean boyfriend this up coming September,..still doubtful in my mind if i am serious with having marry with him,when i was read some of comment against Korean wife lifestyle in hre,i felt scared, coz iam very young
am 20 yrs old and he is turning 38,but i am believed for our love together i thought that he is nice,and love me for the rest of his life,i was met my boyfriend true chatting,taz nag meet lng po kmi twice dto sa philippines then we planned to get marry na,actually i did not know him well that time before but still have the communication to know each other well, but then we settle down that we can get marry hurry, ano po ba ung mga requirements/papers that he will needs to bring for our marry hre in Philippines,can u pls help me for the step by step procedure?did u think it makes possibly until 2nd week of September? hope to hear from you..thank you so much…^^Godbless..
Hi Ms. Betchay! Thank you for sharing your marriage experiences… I am a hard-core Korean lover since last year, any korean thing, I love! I went there last February for a tour and it made me love Korea even more. I would really love to live and work there and even be married to a Korean guy. I have read so much of being married with a Korean, was that really hard? My thought is that its really the personality of the guy that matters. Traditions are traditions and we really have to conform with it especially when we are in other countries. OFW in other countries would know that very well. Adjustment would be the word to overcome everything. I don’t know if i have some sense in telling these thoughts. Is it because I just fell in love with my addiction and i’m already being obsessed with it? I hope you can give me some “real-life” thoughts about this… =) Kamsahamnida!
hi!what if im using my maiden name in my passport and then im gonna apply for spouse visa should i use my married name in all my documents like for the CFO seminar? baka po kasi magkagulo sa documents ko.
and what kind of visa kya ang sa anak nmin ng asawa ko.we’re planning to go to korea this september kasi.please give me some info..thanx
Hello po.:D aww. so married pa po kayo ng korean husband nyo po?
anyway, may question po ako..if u thinl its too private or personal.its ok. just wanna ask…pano po kayo nagmeet ng husband nyo? love at first sight ba. chorva. ek ek. LOL
i hope u’ve adjusted there well. =))))
hi siomai! yes we are still married… i wrote that post not because nagrereklamo ako sa life ko… hindi nga, ang saya at ang fulfilled ng buhay namin… sinulat ko yan kasi maraming naga-asawa ng korean na hindi alam ang ie-expect… hindi rin naman madaliin ang adjustment kasi dumaan din ako sa period ng homesickness… and then suddenly na-realize mo na lang na wala naman palang dapat ikairita, ikalungkot o ikapikon ng isang araw gumising ako at naisip ko na minsan ang mga bagay ay dumedepende lang sa kung ano ang tingin mo sa kanya…
nice post….hello maam…ng ka meron kc ako amu sa uae last year korean cla..lahat lalaki.some of them are gud but most of them are really bad..at nging bestfriend ko p un isa napakabait nya.i really like him..tlga b mhrap mamuhay dyn sa korea.gusto2 ko p nmn mkarating dyn..maam bgyan m nmn ako tips panu ko mappyag un betfriend ko n invite nya ko dyn d kc gnun kdli mg apply ng visa dto
Hi Jennice! Mahirap dito kasi iba ang lengguwahe at iba ang kultura. So kung medyo sensitibo ka eh mahihirapan ka talaga. Pero dahil nakapag-ibang bansa ka na eh siguro mas makakapag-adjust ka. As for your best friend, kausapin mo siya na imbitahin ka. Sabihin mo gusto mo makita bansa nila.
Hello po..
Thank you so much for the info..
my korean boyfriend and I are very hopeful to be together.
He visited the Philippines twice already.
We’ve been together for almost two years now.
Now that he’s working in Korea, it would be difficult for him to come back here.
So we just decided that I apply for a Fiancee Visa.
This is also one way for us to really get to know each other’s culture before getting married.
I have talked to a visa consultant last year and i was able to get a few requirements for the application.
But I am still confuse, because some of the information isnt clear.
Could you please help us know the Requirements for a Fiancee Visa to Korea?
Thank you so much Ate Betchay..
I would patiently wait for your response,since our happiness and future lies here.
God bless and more power!
Hi JC! There is no Fiancee Visa. You have to apply for the tourist or C-3 visa since you’re still not married. The requirements are the same but you’ll need an invitation letter.
Thank you so much Ms. Betchay~ now its all clear to me..
you are such a blessing~
God bless you and More power!
hi. Ms. Bechay. Good day. Thanks for sharing this informative and helpful experience you had. I’ve got married to a korean since 2005 and we lived together here in the philippines but last 2008 he went back to korea coz it was really difficult for him living here. Not long enough when he got a job in a company therefore i was expecting that he would process my visa so we could live together but according to him his family got financial prob, they got debt from a bank so he was the one paying the interest and principal. Coz of this reason, til now we are living separately…Do i have to still wait til situation is going to get better or i will insist that he should bring me to korea and live together??? I really dont know what to do? I wanted to work abroad so i wont be wasting my time waiting but the problem is my passport.
Hello All,
I’m in the U.S military currently stationed in Korea. I have a girlfriend in the Philippines and we’ve been corresponding for little over a year. I gave her this site because it was interesting and very informative. I am a Korean American who immigrated to the U.S when i was a child. I’m a american citizen who just happens to be in the Army and fell in love with a filipina. I’m planning on seeing her for the first time in late Sept. I’ll be visiting her for 10 days. I want her to come visit me in Korea. I will be stationed here in Korea for another year and 7 months. I want her to spend Christmas here this year. I read on your post that there’s no such thing as Fiancee Visa. Since i’m not a Korean citizen but i do speak pretty descent Korean. Do you think that if i went with her to the Korean Embassy in Makati to help her with her application for tourist visa will help? She asked me to write a invitation letter with specifics detailing about our relationship. I read that i needed to write everything about the trip cost will be incured by me. Is there anything that i should put in the letter?
Also, i just want to let your readers know that not ALL Korean guys are not the same. If you’re marrying a guy that’s Korean and lives here, of course you must try to adapt to Korean society. Same goes for if you’re going to any different country. Not all older Korean guys marry other nationality because they are not worthy to marry their own kind. NOT TRUE.
Thank you for your blog.
heloo
i found this site and it somehow related to my situation..can you help me pls.im planning to divorced my korean husband and ai got a boyfriend.hes in the military and hes willing to marry me.hes in korea now too…….my question is,,what should i do to get the divorce ist and what if my korean husband doesnt want to..i dont love my husband at all.i just marry him and now im inlove with the military and he gonna help me all the way to process the divorce……and is it possible that i can get married again if ever i divorced my korean husband? pls help…..
hi kisha! if you’re a Korean citizen now, you could ask for a divorce but if you’re a filipino citizen, there’s no divorce in the philippines so you could not initiate the divorce… your korean husband has to file for the divorce for you…
hi! ate betcha it’s me again i need your help now because me and my korean boyfriend are not married but im pregnant this comeng december first week i gonna born my baby and my boyfriend want to brieng our baby in korea.how or waht can i do to get our baby in korea………………pls! help me thank you so much
hi gina! so dadalhin ng boyfriend mo ang baby ninyo sa Korea? kasama ka or hindi?
hello! ate betcha opoh kasama ako at ang baby ko anu poh bang mga dukumento ang kaylangan ko ihanda para madala ko ung baby ko sa korea?kaylangan dn poh ba ng baby ang passport kht kakasilang ko plang poh sa baby ko?salamat poh ulit sa pagreply ate betcha
ate betcha pwede poh ba na tour visa lng ang kunin ko tapos poh dun nlng ako magrerenew ng visa ko at ng baby ko?salamat poh ulit………….
hi po! ate 3months pa lang po ako d2 sa korea ask ko lang po kung bakit ayaw ako pag aralin sa korean language school ng asawa ko. tinuturuan lang po ako ng kapatid nya ng basic korean. natu2xwa po ako at nakita ko tong website nyo? ask ko lang po kung ano ang reqiurements para maka pag work d2. thanks po
hi jhen… hindi ko alam kung bakit ayaw kang pag-aralin… tanungin mo na lang siguro siya ;p
kung F-2-1 ang visa, pwede ka mag-work… syempre ang requirement eh depende sa magha-hire sa yo ;p
hello, ms. betchay! mgti-3rd wk plng po ako d2 sa korea. probs ko po yung skin ko kasi nmumula at mkati. wla nman ito nung frst 2 wks ko dito. pwde po kyang pa-advise kung ano mgndang intensive moisturizer lalo na’t wintr time. am using a baby lotion para ma moisturize nman skin ko ksi sobrang dry na pero feeling ko d2 nagsimula pngangati at pmumula ng balat ko. pasensya na if this sounds mbabw to you pero mlking bagay to sa’kin. npka uncomfortable ng pakiramdam. hope you can give advise. thank you po…
try neutrogena intensive body moisture lotion or emulsion.. or nivea cream… better yet pa-check up ka na lang. mas maganda yung cream binibigay ng dermatologist dito…
dati kase when i first arrived here too, sobrang kati ng skin ko.. sympre part ng adjustmet. mid oct ako dumating dito non, medyo malamig konti sa baguio weather so sobrang nag dry din skin ko..
h! there,,first time q lang po d2 sa site nyu,,married din aq sa korean,lahat po ng cnb nyu tama,,peo qng gst2 mu o tlaga mgasawa ng korean advice q dapat well educated ka po kc ang marriage d basta-basta,,wala pa naman aq masabing d maganda sa in laws q sa ngaun,mabait naman sila un ngah lang madami sila gustong patry sau pakikisama lang talaga,,
hello! ate betcha
ask ko lng poh kung anu mga papelis ang kaylangan ko poh ihanda para madala ko ng korea ang baby ko pls! help me nmn poh thank’s
hello gina, if andito sa korea ngayon bf mo, better na sya mag inquire sa immigration nila kung ano requirements needed for you and your baby para makapunta dito. of course, kahit newborn pa lang baby mo need pa rin ng passport.
or if nasa pinas din lang sya, why not call or visit the korean embassy to inquire about your condition and the papers needed..
eow poh ms.betchay ask ko lng po bakit po ako kya hanggang ngaun di ko pa nakukuha visa ko pang 3 ko ng balik sa dec 10,, last na punta ko ipinasa ko ung add doc na need dw lyk ng explanation letter and phonebill nung nov 17,, makukuha ko na kya un sa dec 10 tnx,
Ay minsan kasi pag may special requirement eh may dahilan ang embassy. Usually naman eh madali lang sa may asawa ng Korean makakuha ng visa.
hello !Ate betcha. tanong ko lang ko lng kng kung start mismo January nxt yr pwd nbng mag-apply for Dual Citizenship? gusto ko kasing iredeemed yung Filipino citizenship ko eh nandun ako 4 vacation that month rply nmn pls.
Hello. I just found this site and wanted to comment, although my specific situation is not the same.
I am an American girl married to a Korean guy. All of the difficult things you mentioned (the holidays, being expected to basically be a “servant”, marrying the family not just the man, etc.) they are all true. Even though we had talked thoroughly about all these issues before we were married…I was not going to be expected to take care of everything in the house alone, would not be expected to serve the whole family at holidays, that we would have our privacy… Can’t really say it worked out as we had talked. On our honeymoon, his parents invited themselves along for the first few days and then although it was agreed he would help in the house after marriage, his upbringing and expectations took over and he became angry when I did not do everything as he expected it (because his mom cooked and cleaned and did everything perfectly). I do not know that every Korean guy will be like that. But mine, who had said he would not be that way, suddenly became like that. Now we have been married for 18 months and things are finally getting ironed out. We both work on the house although I do the majority and if something isn’t “perfect”, that’s fine. I am probably stubborn as a result of my American upbringing but I do believe that even a Korean male should respect his wife and be willing to work together. I think it’s important to communicate about expectations before the marriage and be honest if there is something you expect from him or feel you cannot do. Then stick with that. I hope everybody else can have a positive experience.
Oh, another thing, Korean men are Stu-bb-orn! And if you ever want to say something about HIS country even if it’s true, such as “people here drive crazy!”, be prepared to have a grumpy, possibly even angry, man on your hands for awhile as he is irritated that you said something about HIS country.
Good luck and God bless!
hi.ms betchay wht the real reason kung bakit gusto ng mga korean mapangasawa ang mga pinay? sv nila pag dw malaki ang similarity nyo sa isat isat ng korean madali ka nya magugustuhan,,,lalu ng byenan dw, sv nila.. kc kmi ng asawa ko napapagkamalan na magkapatid dhil nga sa my similarity ang itsura nmin…tnx
gndng araw po..nkpg asawa po ko ng koreano at my anak kmi..panu ko po b kukuhaan ng pasport ung anak ng hindi ksama ang asawa ko?pls pki response po…
sobrang hirap n po ako dito..lage kmi ngaaway ng byenan kng babae,,gusto ko ng umuwi ng pinas,,la nmn pasport ang anak ko…advice nmn po…………….
hi to all and more to you bechay,
fisrt of all i would like to say thank you for this nice and worth blog that i found.now here’s my problem(direct to the point^^)i been married for 9 yrs.with korean man.bago kami nagpakasal naging mag syota muna kami for two yrs.thenafter two yrs.nag decide ako na magpakasal na sa kanya dahil sa love.una palang naisip ko na nahindi madali ang pagaasawa at ang part nagagampanan ko pero ang sabi ko sa sarili na hangat nandyan sa tabi ko ang asawa ko kakayanin ko lahat.well nagawa ko naman for 8and half yrs.pero masyado na akong pagod sa dahilang walang pag babago simula ng dumating ako dito at naging malala pa well siguro kasalanan ko din dahil masyado akong mabait sa kanila.lahat nang bagay o galaw na ninais nila ginawa ko na pero sadyang ako parin ang masama sa paningin nila.minsan naiisip ko ang kagandahan ng buhay ko sa pinas na pinagpalit ko sa pagmamahal pagmamahal na walang ibang kapalit kundi kahirapan dito.wala akong masabi pagdating sa finansyal na binibigay nila pero ang reklamo ay ang pagmamahal at pagintindi ng asawa sakin.isang bang pagkakamali kung maisip ko na sa ngayun na ipaglaban ang karapatan ko bilang isang tao?or napakasama ko na ba sa ginawa ko?sa ngayun umabot na ang pasinsya ko kinatatakotan kong araw hindi ko na kayang mag pasinsya pa.so naisip ko na mag file na ng divorce para sa kayalaan ko at pahinga ng dibdib ko.and i need your help miss bechay,kung panu ko e-divorce ang asawa ko sa madaling paraan.f-5 ang visa ko.pag nag divorce ba kami pwedi ko pa ba akong maglagi dito sa korea or not?hindi ko iniisip na maghabol ng kung ano pa mang material or financial sa kanya gusto ko lang kalayaan at katahimikan at gusto ko ng ipahinga ang dibdib ko hindi ko na kaya.anong steps ba ang gagawin ko para sa problema ko?kung pwedi mo akong e-txt.ito number ko i want to know more and i really need your worth advice.my cp.# 010-3009-9908.pls i need help ASAP.
hello.I just want to know kung ano ang role ng mga foreign wives to their Korean husbands? Lalo na financially pagkatapos ng kasal. ang mga asawa ba ay may right sa property ni husband or kelangan muna maging korean citizen ka pra may share ka rin sa pag-aari nila since mag asawa na nga kayo. sino ang dapat mag handle ng expenses, budget, etc.. kung sino man ang nakakaalam maaring mg reply sa post na ito. salamat ng madami.naguguluhan ako.masyadong sensitive sa bf ko ang usapin na ito.at ng tinanong ko cia tungkol dito ay nagalit. ayaw nya daw i-share ang bahay at kotse nya,hindi ko naman kinukuha. nagpplano kmi ng ksal sa june pero parang ayoko ng ituloy.napaka selfish nya. ang gusto pa ay dapat dalawa kmi ang magttrabaho khit wla naman kming anak kc ayaw nman nya.anong klaseng tao ba ang napuntahan ko?ang gulo2 na ng isip ko.oo mahal ko cia pero kung ganito ang ugali parang nakakwalang gana.kelangan ko po ng advice.salamat 🙂
Hi Ms. confused! Depende naman sa usapan ninyong mag-asawa, pero traditionally ang babae ang humahawak ng finances ng pamilya. Kaya nga mas powerful mga babae rito talaga ;p
Sa pamilya namin, ako humahawak ng bank accounts, stamp (dojang) ng asawa ko at ako rin nagba-budget kahit noong hindi ako nagwo-work.
Kung may doubts ka dahil “selfish” ang fiance mo, mas mabuti pa wag mo na ituloy o pag-isipan mo uli. As a Pinay, hindi mo siya pwedeng i-divorce later kung sakali na gusto mo mahiwalay. Syempre pag nag-asawa ka wish mo na forever na pero may mga bagay na minsan hindi natin inaasahan so mas maganda na handa sa kung anuman.
Marriages should be based on trust. Kung hindi ka niya pinagkakatiwalaan at mukhang hindi rin kumpleto trust mo sa kanya, better think more ;p
thank you for the reply.i was so busy at work that i could not even check my mails.anyway, in general, mabait naman si boyfie, maselan lng pgdating sa pera.we talked about it and he was sorry for thinking about it that way, so ok na ulit kmi. natiis ko cia ng 4 years so might as well extend my patience a little more.he also said that pareho lng ng culture ang Korea at Pinas pgdating sa paghandle ng finances, usually wives nga daw. hindi naman kmi magastos pareho so keri na rin.
aside from teaching, what other jobs can a filipina do in Korea? i dont have a degree in whatever. but i have a diploma in Computer. Study muna ako ng language b4 going there para hindi nman ako mag mukhang tanga. and i asked him to help me in my difficulties.syempre ibang lugar na yan at wla akong kakilala maliban sa kanya. kung pwede lng dalhin ang nanay ko..haha..mama’s girl ;p
hello Ms. Confused. This link may answer some of your questions:
http://korealaw.wordpress.com/2008/03/01/claim-for-division-of-property-under-korean-divorce-law/#more-44
or you can actually email your questions regarding legal matters to chungwi@nate.com. Try visiting visiting this site:
http://korealaw.wordpress.com/legal-consultation/
Hope this helps.
thank you sa mga nagreply 🙂
Hi Ms. Betchay,
I really do commend your post regarding this one. My Korean boyfriend and I are together for 5 months already. We’re still trying to take things slow and I’m trying to make him learn our culture. Fortunately, he has already adopted the Filipino culture. Despite the negatives, being late always most especially, he is quite okay with it. In short, we’re so okay. My only enemy is her mother who hates Filipinas. My boyfriend is here for 3 years already and her parents visit him every year. Her sister doesn’t care much about us. As long as she’s happy its okay. His father is in good terms with me as well. But her mother. Gosh! She never stops complaining about how Filipinas are like this, like that when she never had actually befriended one. How can I surpass this one? I know she just wants the best for her son but ofcourse, its his son’s life. She shouldn’t barge in it. Right?
Hi delilah! Thank you for your nice words. I met my parents-in-law after my husband and I got married. I was supposed to meet them before but I didn’t get a visa. Then we arrange to meet in another country but they didn’t want to travel just to meet me. In short, before my husband and I got married his family was against the idea. The family is quite traditional and having one of their son marry a foreigner was an absolute no-no. Even I was having doubts then, but my husband was persistent. Long story…
Anyway, my MIL faked a headache when I came here. And she complained that I couldn’t speak Korean, cook Korean and I couldn’t even clean the house well. In college, my friends nicknamed me “The Rock” and that I could open a course on “Deadma-tology 101”. Well, it’s kinda true… Whatever unkind words my MIL said went inside one ear and out the other… but that’s really my nature.
At first, my tendency was to answer my MIL back whenever she spoke unkindly; but that would only validate her “bad” impression of Pinays. I did not think I was an “easy target” nor a “martyr” by not defending myself. I didn’t want to put my husband in a position wherein he would have to choose between his wife or his mom. That is just not fair considering that he is really close with his family and he also sacrificed for our relationship. Whenever my MIL came for a visit, she would “nag” that I should do this or that. I learned how to just say “YES” so it would be EASIER for ME. When she left, I still didn’t do what she told me since I’m more comfy at my style. Oh my own mother also used to nag me a lot whenever I didn’t follow her.
Anyway, she probably realized over time that I was not that kind of Pinay she had heard or read about. I think it happened after a year and a half that she said I would be the best daughter-in-law if only I were slimmer! LOL… I think Asian MILs are generally protective of their sons. My mother used to be the same with her own DILs. Oh even my Korean sister-in-law complains about our MIL so now I know that it’s not really just because I’m Pinay that she was like that to me before. And you know what, after giving birth that’s when I realized how difficult a mom’s job really is. So if there were moments that I’m annoyed at my MIL, I just think about those days when she took care of my husband when he was young. If not for her, my husband would not be the good (athletic, environmentally-conscious and considerate) person that he is.
Oh, when my MIL was here last December, I told her that I hope they (she and PIL) could live with us when we move to a bigger apartment. I honestly want that, but it’s my husband who doesn’t want his parents to live with us. In the end, what’s really important is my relationship with my husband.
Sa kultura natin, hindi dpat na nkikialam ang biyenan sa buhay mag-asawa kasi sariling pamilya na natin yun. Pero sa kultura nila, ang asawa ng kanilang anak na lalaki ay kabilang na sa kanilang pamilya at lahat ay nasa ilalim ng nanay at tatay nila. Kung kaya’t normal sa knila na maki-alam ang biyenan sa buhay mag-asawa. Ganyan din case ko, pinakikialaman din kmi ng biyenan kong babae. Buti nlng yung hubby ko may sariling paninindigan. Although mdalas mama niya ang nasusunod pero may mga times naman na my hubby stands for his decision at si MIL ang wlang magawa. Mas probs ko pa youngr bro at anak nito kesa sa mga FIL at MIL ko.
I hav a frnd who has the same case as yours. Tutol MIL niya sa kasal nila ng Korean husbnd niya and she (MIL) hates Filipinas. Her life living with her MIL was miserable like hell sabi ng friend ko. Hindi siya pngagamit ng wshng mchne (aksaya dw sa kuryente), d pwde mgdagdag kain mga kids (kahit gutom pa), harap-harapan siya kung maliitin at mdalas ay iniinsulto (verbal abuse). Sinasabihan siya dati ng wlang mrarating ksi pulubi at ni sentimo ay hindi mn lng dw niya maibigay. Buti na lng tlgng mbait yung hubby niya at totoong love siya. They moved from one place and house to another. In the end, her MIL decided to live separately pero nsa knya npunta mlking bahay na naipundar nila ng asawa niya. Ngayn, meron na silang English academy at nkabili na rin ng isang unit ng apartment. Mas maliit kesa dati pero mas mainam na kesa dun sa making bahay na magulo. She has suffered a lot sa MIL niya. Lagi niya nao-open-up sa’kin dati nung nasa Pilipinas pa ako. Pero ngayon, iba na friend ko. Na build niya kc sarili despite sa knyang mga npgdaanan. Ngayn nagtuturo siya ng Ingles sa mga bata (4-8 yrs old) at may sarili pas silang hagwon. The bottom line is it would take time, determination, effort, and most especially the love, understanding and support of your Korean boyfriend para makayanan mo lahat ‘yan.
wow!na-inspire nman ako sa story ng friend mo. in my experience, my PIL-2-be ay against din sa unico hijo nila to marry someone overseas but lately si MIL ng agree na din kc cguro nkita naman nya kung pano ko alagaan anak while he here in pinas.na impress nga daw cia kung pano ako masinop sa bahay kc allergic ako sa dumi.even c boyfie e inaasar ako na pwede ako mg janitor kc wla nko ginawa kundi maglinis at mag rearrange ng bahay tuwing off. i saw his mom several times when we do video calling sa ym and she was telling me to come to korea (with my boyfie doing the translation of course!) kc wla na dw cia anak na babae kc puro may family na at iniwan na cia. syempre parang na-touch naman ako dun.mahilig kmi pareho sa gawaing bahay at sa watermelon :). sana nga hindi ako mahirapan pgdating ko jan at sana ma meet ko din kayong lahat na nasa korea. more power to Madam Betchay!!
Well well well,untill now im trying to ask myself im still dreaming and try to wake up…Yes this is my second week here in korea.I cant explain how i felt right now but it is a good and bad thing ..ah mybe i felt bored about food and i cannot speak their language..its just right that im holding an alien card (just literally right !!!)i came here because of love but seems that difficult to know their culture.Im educated person but when i came here i felt so stupid.. such a brain dead person…its a long quest of life here i cant wait to finished my blog …buhay korea is a never ending sacrifice ..never say never!mabuhay pinoy!
tanong lang po ano po ba kailangan na papel bout sa kasal sa korean kaksal kac ako sa korean wala ako idea kung ano laht kailangan and ano gagawin?
Those informations are all correct but I’m lucky I married to a Christian-man and didn’t experience serving as a maid on any special occassions. Luckily, I’m successful with my work here as an English teacher and proud to say that my life and income here is better than my life in the Philippines.
Hehehe… you can either look at it as “serving as a maid” or serving your family.
hello,while browsing about Korean culture Ive found this site. I am a member of an online social dating site,i have found a Korean guy who gives so much interest on me. He is 46 years old,divorced and have 2 kids. He have a business here in the Philippines,he is nice ( we’ve been chatting every night since last month) but i am still in doubt about meeting him. I heard a lot about Korean,my brother told me to stay away from Korean kasi daw baka gusto lang nilang mag establish ng businesses nila dito sa Philippines. I dont know what to do because i like this guy at natatakot lang ako sa culture nila.Please give me advice.Thanks
jo han,
I strongly advice you.. that your brother was right, and not to pursue meeting some people like them..they are so very very crazy person, maybe the way he talks to you this time. very sweet and gerrrrr. di yan totoo.. kaya if you don’t have any problem about financial just find a filipino or another nationality ..
Hi jo han! Why did he divorce? I think you need to find out the reason for that. I can’t really tell you what to do. You’re an adult and you should be able to decide for yourself. Just use your head and not to just rely fully on your emotions.
lindsay
Is there someone who can help about the problem of korean husband (MIL and SIL)? I married him last year ,, I really Admit the reason why i maried someone without getting to know him well..its because I was being practical that time..I had so many problem about financial and that time my sister need to undergo an operation..since i meet the K.. that problem i mine was resolved and after that I was doubting to get married with him because i know that deep inside i dont love him .. so what i did is to refuse him and I tried to cancel our wedding schedule for almost 3 times..yeah ,,, the schedule was canceled already and I told him to go back in korea first before we get married so that we can both decide if we really want to be a lifetime partner but he doesn’t,,, he had many alibis..and the situation became more complicated between him and my family , my family ddnt understand my feelings,,, and we happened to married without thinking … and then after my calvary was started for the first month untill now ,, but I attempted to leave him for three times but ayaw niya…. and then for how many days he will be good to me but after few days maliit lang na mistake ,,napakabigdeal na sa kanya,,, all problems in phil. is my prob. too, about water bill, electric bill, internet bill, connections, people , our economy processing for everthing why is it like this like that?? it should be like this like that,,coz ganyan daw sa kanila.at lahat ng insulto narinig ko na din all answers of mine was nothing to him, he was so numb .. but despite all those things he helps a lot to my family coz he supports my 2 siblings in college …but I feel so tired and now ,,at nmeet ko na family niya they are more worst,, and the prob. is my patience is only good enough for my husband and no more extra for his family and I’m thinking now to tell frankly to them that if they dont like me for who I am and what I am bilang pinay its better to let their son to find another one who is perfect,coz ,thats what they want perfect for everthing.,.. ate bechay what im thinking now is correct or wrong???? Im not willing to sacrifice and to have a hell life…Im not totally practical.. ate I really need some advise…
hi poh! gud day im tina 22 from pasay meron lang po akong i ask about my marriage agency po kc ang nag_ayos ng papers ko….ikinasal po ako noong dec. 28,2010 pero nklagay po sa papers ko jan. 5,2011 at umuwi po yung asawa ko nung dec.30,2010….fake po ba yung marriage ko?
hi pwede manghingi po ng advice
halos mag 2years na po ako d2 sa korea,may anak ako isa lalaki at mag 2years na rin xa.bale naiinis po kasi ako sa asawa ko kasi hinahayaan nya lng ang family nya mag decide sa buhay namin,ni wala kming sariling financial hataw nmn overtime ng asawa ko lagi sya ung naghahawak ng sahod ng asawa ko lahat xa,binibigyan nya lng ako ng 5green pambili ko ng card at pansapal pati phone ko kaibigan ko pa ang nagbigay sakin,gusto ko magwork hindi nila ako pinapayagan gusto ko papasukin ung anak ko sa orini jib sabi nila wag daw muna,gusto kong lumabas pag ayaw nila wala ako magagawa mas nsusunod ang lahat ng gusto nila lagi pagkinausap ko nmn ung asawa ko parang wala lng sa knya tagos lahat sa tainga nya,sa samsung jusunso po nagtatrabaho ung asawa ko,pwede ko po ba sila ireklamo pag gnun?d po ba pang aabuso na ung ginagawa nila,waiting for ur advise guys..thank you!
Hi sujin! Ganun talaga… iba ang kultura nila kesa sa ‘tin… kaya nga sinulat ko ‘to noon…
In short, hindi naman talaga matuturing na abuso unless sinasaktan ka ng asawa mo. May mga bagay talaga na natural sa kultura nila pero hindi dahil iba sa ‘tin eh mali na. Unang-una talaga eh kailangan na pamilya ang priority… pamilya ng asawa mo ibig ko sabihin.
ate…kapag po nakasal na sa korean tas lumabas na yung marriage contract nyo, anu po ba kailangang ipadalang papeles sa asawa mo sa korea? yung marriage contract lang po ba na original or pati yung authenticated from NSO? and may iba pa po bang kailangan ipadalang papers?
saka alam nyo po ba zipcode sa youngju? thanks sana po masagot nyo questions ko… god bless you
I am visiting Korea in September to do some photography, thank you for your insights to the wonderful country. I didnt know there was so many complications for marrying there, but I guess ill be ok as a tourist 🙂
oh thats was great try to visit nami island and petite france you will surely love the place nice for photo shoot so many beautiful places in korea visit korea tourism organization for more info we will be on korea on sept 8 to spend chuseok ……korean thanksgiving(:
Hi Ate Betchay,
Nagreresearch tlga ako ng mga info about korean marrying a filipina. My friend asked me if gusto ko daw makapg asawa ng korean and i answered him yes then before mag end ang month na ito ay mag meet kami then pakasl na. Actually through agency ang set up, naguguluhan po ako kung itutuloy ko magpakasl or hindi nalng kac puro doubt ang nasa isip ko. I need your advice Ms. Betchay kac kaw ung matagal na dyan and successful ang married life mo. Hoping for your reply … god bless
hi im april here in daegu i just wanna ask what do i need if want to marry a korean men, thank to this blog i got a lot of good info about marrying a korean..
i just warned sa girls na may agency sad to say malabo kaung makapasa sa interview..or depende..it was not easy now..mahigpit na po cla..sa 6 couples na ininterview 2 lang nakapasa na couples kasama kami..without agency or fix marriage…for me sacred ang marriage vows..so sana wag puro material ang pairalin natin..you must know your boyfriend background first before making decision in your life that you will regret..a marriage without love wont succeed..
i just ask if we can renew his legal capacity..he’s in united states now and busy in his work so his legal capacity will expired..he told me to avail tourist visa but it was a lot of documents to be settle..i just hope we can renew his legal capacity so that when he had free time he can go here and prepare for our wedding..even simple or city hall lang ..for me if you really love your husband through thick ,poorer and sickness kau pa din…even maykaya ang fiancee ko he live in gangnam city and he also warned me with korean culture ..malalakas talaga boses nila..i also saw his house and family..he’s mother die 2 years ago and he’s father living in america na…so cguro hindi na me mahihirapan makisama sa mga sisters nia ..i learned a lot in this blog..i just hope we can get married soon..and god will be the center of our love..and i wanted to have baby because im 27 and im mature enough to be a mother..i hope he will be here sooner..thanks and my bf was 31 ..
Hi miss Alexa,as far as i kn0w ur husband to be can renew his legal capacity here in Philppines,but he need to bring s0me document fromjjorea where he was born. That was my husband did 5 years ago when we got marry. We choose to stay here in Phils for my own good daw he said.
hi ate betchy im here again..im your one of fan here since i started reading this blog..ate betchy ask ko lang po sana kung may idea kau kung paano makakuha ng medical card im 4 months pregnant po kasi with a korean guy hindi pa kami makakuha ng health card kasi hindi pa kami kasal ang balak po kasi namin after ko manganak uuwi po kami ng pinas para magpakasal.dito napo kasi kami nagkakilala nagwowork po ako dati as entertainer, hindi ko po nagustuhan yung work ko as entertainer kaya po nag tomangkaso (run away) ako, hanggang na kilala ko po itong korean na bf ko.mabait po sya ngaun pong wala akong trabaho sya po ang tumutulong sakin magpadala sa pinas at sya po lahat ang nagibigay ng expenses sakin dito sa korea. kaya lang po ate. betchy since pregnant po ako ngaun ang laki po ng expenses namin sa hospital dahil wala nga po akong medical card, baka po meron sa inyo may idea kung paano makakuha ng medical card..i really much appreciated your reply ate betchy..godbless
hi! nkauwi knb ng Pinas? nag tnt din aq jan for 3 years eh..umuwi aq last year ng mgbigay ng amnesty last Oct. 2011..ble nagpksal muna kmi ng korean bf ko before kmi umuwi..Now i’m applying for spouse visa..kya lng kinkbhan aq kc nga my linagy na 68-(1) ung immigration sa Airport b4 kmi mg check in..
Kelan ka nkauwi? nkabalik knb sa Korea?
same situation april..pano gnwa mo share mo nmn skin please..
hi ate betchy, ikakasal po ako ngayong dec 23 2011 sa korean:) sa totoo lang wala akong idea about sa korea, as in wala talaga, bale fixed marriage po kasi un kaya natatakot ako pag dating ko dun and d ko po sya ganung kakilala pa, bale nirecommend lang po un ng friend ng mom ko eh nagustuhan daw po ako tpos yun po. Ung language nalang din po ksi ung problema ko. nahihirapan ako. un po ksi ung pinaka importante kasi by feb. baka nasa korea na ako ate betchy. salamat po 🙂
hi! nkauwi knb ng Pinas? nag tnt din aq jan for 3 years eh..umuwi aq last year ng mgbigay ng amnesty last Oct. 2011..ble nagpksal muna kmi ng korean bf ko before kmi umuwi..Now i’m applying for spouse visa..kya lng kinkbhan aq kc nga my linagy na 68-(1) ung immigration sa Airport b4 kmi mg check in..
Kelan ka nkauwi? nkabalik knb sa Korea?
Hi Jona! Try mo lang. Think positive lagi.
Thank u ate!^^ Thank u po sa info..
Hi! I,ve been searching websites that can help me answer my problem and thanks GOD i found yours!!!! I want to ask po kasi about my situation. I overstayed in Korea for almost 3 years pero nag voluntary exit ako and may amnesty that time,.nag pakasal po kami ng bf kong Koreano before kami umuwi dito sa Pinas. Tinatakan po ng 68-(1) yung passport ko but tiningnan din muna ng immigration yung marriage contract nmin. My question is my possibility po ba na ma deny yung Spouse visa application ko? Mag aapply po ako sa Monday.
Sana po masagot nyo question ko. Khit po sa email na lang.
Thanks PO and more Power!
or text mo po ako kpg my time ka..09213186123. Thank u!!!
Kung ma-deny ang application mo, sasabihin nila ang reason at kailangan mo lang i-fulfill ang requirement na yun. Pwede ka mag-apply ng spouse visa anytime at hindi na kailangan maghintay ng six months.
Hi! Thank u for answering my question ate^^
At least hindi aq mgba bother msyado dhil sa info n bnigay nyo..my nkpgsabi po ksi sakin n kpg na deny daw po yung visa ko nid ko daw mg hintay ng another 6 months pra mkpg apply ulit..
Message po kita kpg na approve ung application ko.
Thank u po ulit and More Power! Malaking tulong po itong website mo.
hi mz bechay, merid certificate nso lang ba ang nid ipadala sa korea or birthcertificate nso and passport original din ang padadala sa korea?tulong naman oh.tsaka pag denied ba ang visa after 6months ulit pd mag apply ng visa?tsaka sabi ng husband ko sabay sabay na daw nya ipapadala yun papers nya dito sa pinas,pag nag cfo ako agad baka hanapin yun merid relation family namin eh ala pako nun,hinahanap daw yun pag rilis ng certificate eh,mas mabuti pa kung unahin ko ang medical ano po ?pls reply
Hello po im a fan dn po sa blog nu.May korean bf dn po ako 2yrs na kmi at gusto na po naming magpakasal within this year mga partly december or january…gusto ko lng po mag ask kung pano gumawa ng kimchi hehe kc wala pa po kong alam kung pano gumawa ng pagkain nla…at kung pano po ung processo ng kasal? Sana maka reply po kau..God bless po
Hey man, sorry to ask but I’d like to know first hand from someone experienced, I’ve been looking for hours over the Internet for the right answers and oddly I’d like your honest opinion.
I’ve had many ex gfs ranging from Filipinas, Timorese, one jap, Australians and European women, so on…
But ive found no interest in any of them unfortunately.
I assure you that I’m not gay.
But I’ve always been very attracted to korean women compared to any other women.
I’m thinking of wanting to marry a Korean woman some day, but they seem so stuck up.
I live in Australia.
I’m 27 never married and not getting any younger, I plan to go Korea next year when I can make time to abandon my business for two weeks.
I’m well off above average financially with a good loving family who is very well of financially.
I own a small growing company.
I presume I’m not ugly.
But unfortunately 5″5 short.
I know I’m a good guy, but i dont let others dictate my life and is confident for business purposes.
Do you think I could have a chance to meet the right Korean girl who will love me for me within that 2 weeks of vacation and have a LDR?
How did you meet your girl?
Do Korean women divorce? I have strong morals against divorces.
Am I making the wrong choice?
Will I have a hard time maintaining a Korean wife if I had one?
Are Korean women height maintenance?
Do they have strong morals against adultery like I do?
Any tips would be very much appreciated please?
Hi! I need some advice here… To all who are i am happy to know you all here and read about your comments.. I am here to look for some advice..
I am a filipina, 24, never marry, and inlove ako sa bf kung korean, and i know for sure that he is also inlove with me..
That’s why i am here is, Which is better, i marry my korean bf here in Philippines or in korea? Either way is ok with him.. I have no regular jobs, and did not finish my study in college.. When i checked online whats going to be the process in marrying a foreigner guy (korean), i dont really have any idea on what to do..
And just looking at the process of getting a visa, scares me, cause they need so many requirements.. But as i heard marrying them here is more easy for me to reach there country than getting a tourist visa..
Please guyz, any advice for this poor person here.. Really have no idea on what is best to do.. And bf just went back to korea 5 days and i realized how much i love and miss him… And would want to be with him as soon as possible.. Please give me some advice.. thank you… 😉
God BLess Guyz.. Hope To meet you all in korea.. 🙂
Hi Anne! Now ang process talaga ng spousal visa ay sa home country at hindi sa Korea. Ipa-process lang nila ang spousal visa dito kung hindi pwede mag-travel ang babae. So kahit makapunta ka rito as a tourist at magpakasal kayo, kailangan mong umuwi ng Pilipinas para dun i-process ang visa. Mahigpit na talaga ang processing ng visa ngayon at maraming requirements kumpara noon.
hi ate betchay gud morning pow please send me your email add or add me i need some advice po kc..may itatanong po ko sa inyo.. please help me and need advice..
thank you so much..
i would wait for your responses…
god bless and more power.. my email yuriky_28@yahoo.com
hi ate mOrning pohhh.. im 28 yrs old kasal n po ko s korean 47 yrs old.. 4x n po xa pabalik balik d2 s pinas.. hindi po ba ko mhihirapan mkpunta jan if mabuntis ko d2 plng s pinas?kht dpa tpos mga papers ko… kc nxt po nakaschedule n po ko cfo give me advice about interviews and mga requirement po s cfo..
kc po wala pa po ko married contract s nso kc po kakasal lng namen nun oct 29 pwde bng iacept un city hall?
thank you so much…
hi ate betchay ano po bng mga ugali ng mga koreano..di ko pa po kc kilala msyadong un asawa ko.. thnks po
Hi Tiff! Hindi mo pwedeng i-generalize ugali ng mga Koreans, mas mabuti na alamin mo ang kultura nila. At i-adjust mo ang sarili mo ayon dito.
hi ate betchay how r you po.. ask ko lng ngpakasal po s korean pregnant po ko ngaun pero dpa naayos ang mga papers ko wala po ko cfo at at visa..ask ko lng wala po mggng nproblema s papers if malamn na pregnant ko? thank you response..
Hi Veronica! Wala namang magiging aberya sa pag-process ng papeles mo kung pregnant ka. Mas maganda sana kung nasa Korea ka na, para makuha mo benefits ng para sa mga preggy moms.
Hi po Sis becha
Kwento ko lang po, may friend po ako na nakapag asawa ng korean. Actually, biglaan po yung kasal kasi nagkakilala lang sila online. Tuwang tuwa po yung nanay ng friend ko kasi makakapag asawa po siya ng foreign to think na maiiahon na sila sa kahirapan. Concern lang po ako sa friend ko kasi, i’m worrying about her status. Ano po ba maari ko iadvise sa kanya?
e-mail niyo po ako for reply: bellamakata29@gmail.com
Ma’am betchay, thanks for the detailed info. I badly need this before I sign the marriage contract next month 🙂 but ma’am betchay, can u give me more info as to how I can possibly acquire a job? I’m a registered nurse and was also an ESL teacher where I met my h2b. 🙂
Good day to you Ma’am Bechay.
Hope all is well in Seoul.
I wanna share this and I will patiently wait to hear from you. ^^
I met this Korean man last year November through social site (badoo)
He was a computer programmer who worked for 10 years in various companies but he changed his career as a welder (for future he answered when I asked). He’s working in one of the shipbuilding companies in his country. He’s been working there for more than a year. Btw, he is now 37. In my case, I was an ESL teacher that time. I am turning 30 this year.
Since that day we never let the day pass without leaving offline messages through Yahoo Messenger.
And on weekends, we have time to chat and do audio call.
This February 2013 we finally met in person. He stayed for almost 8 days in my parents’ house since I am living with them. Before he visits me, he asked me what to do when he meets my parents. Mababait naman parents ko kaya sinabi ko sa kanya na be himself of telling his purpose— (to have long relationship with me and for us to be blessed by them).
Karamihan sa atin, (if I’m not mistaken) ini-expect na kapag bumisita ang foreign man sa kanyang lover… he is expected to spend or give money for food, shopping o kung anumang outing or party ang magaganap. Parte narin ng panunuyo nya. Pero iba ang nangyari sa case ko. I never told him that he is expected to give/share money for day’s expenses. Also he should buy pasalubong kapag umaalis kami. Ang nangyari… ako ang bibili ng pasalubong. Hinahayaan nya lang din na ako ang magbayad sa kinakain namin kapag kasama namin ang ilang members ng family ko. Pero kapag kaming dalawa lang, sya ang lahat ng gumagastos.
Pero nung huling araw, nagyaya rin naman sya na mamili kami ng food for the family and he spent on his own unlike nung unang beses na para sa aming dalawa lang ang pinamili nya.
I know may mali din ako for not telling him what are the expectations from him… pero gusto ko lang din malaman how he is going to deal with the situation: Like seeing me paying for something na hindi nya man lang ako awatin bagkus sya na lang ang magbayad. Another thing, kapag nasa store kami… gusto ko marinig sa kanya na tanungin nya ang mother ko kung may gusto ba itong bilin. O kahit tanungin nya ako kung may gusto bang kainin o bilin ang mga kasama namin (knowing na mother ko at kapatid ang kasama namin)
All in all, hindi naging maganda ang assessment ng parents and members of the family ko sa kanya. Sinabi nila na ang taong pinapakisamahan ko ay makasarili at walang sariling kusa.
Hindi lang culture ang dapat maging dahilan… dapat alam nyang manuyo. Ngayon, nahihirapan akong ipagtanggol ang relasyon namin.
He knows that my parents want us to end our relationship. So he is willing to know all the reasons why my family is against our relationship. And willing to accept Filipino culture and understand my family’s expectations. Pero hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa kanya ang mga bagay na nabanggit ko na hindi sya maooffend.
Karamihan ba sa Korean men ay relationship-centered? As in ako lang at sya.
Mahigpit ba sila sa pera o tipong nanghihinayang magkagastos sa iba?
Nabasa ko sa page na’to that if I’m gonna marry Korean man, it wouldn’t be only him but also his family. If that so, he should know the feeling of wanting of being close to his wife’s parents and family and spending money as part of panunuyo won’t be matter at all.
We met in person two months after we met through social site. And this March, is first month of our relationship. 3 months pa lang kami and my marriage timeline is 35. 4 to 5 years more. Marami pa ang pwedeng mangyari. Mahal ko sya kaya naman ninanais kong makilala pa sya ng lubos.
He is also offering his help when I started my masteral degree because according to him… he desired to wait and marry me. He wants assurance that I would spend my whole life with him.
Kailangan ba lagging may assurance? Minsan naiisip ko rin dahil ba 40 plus na sya after 5 years. At affected sya sa sasabihin ng ibang tao dahil sa kanilang culture about this matter.
I badly needed your insights about this matter. Ma’am Betchay, I am patiently waiting to hearing from you.
Thanks a lot.
Hi Shilla! Ang haba so dapat mahaba rin ang sagot ko… Hehehe…
Baka naman walang masyadong pera ang boyfriend mo? Hindi talaga natin pwedeng i-generalize mga tao pero baka masinop na tao lang siya pagdating sa pera.
Dito kasi sa Korea, pag nag-asawa ang babae nagiging parte siya ng pamilya ng lalaki at ang sarili niyang pamilya ay hindi na niya priority. So kung maga-asawa ka ng Korean, laging nasa taas ang pamilya ng asawa mo kesa sa pamilya mo. Halimbawa, kung bibili ka ng regalo bago mo bilhan ang nanay mo, kailangan bilhan mo muna ang biyenan mo o nanay ng asawa mo.
Kung sa palagay mo ay mahihirapan ka sa kulturang pampamilya ng mga Koreans, mas maganda na putulin mo na lang relationship ninyo habang maaga.
You’re right that it’s because of his age that he wants an assurance. He isn’t getting any younger and as a man and a son, he has a duty to continue their family line.
do parents in korea accept a daughter in law that has a bit big age gap (6years) with their son? and do they accept different religion like catholic and christian?
Six years is not really “big”. I know a couple with more than ten years age gap and they are happy. My Korean husband is Buddhist and I was baptized a Catholic. So one can’t really generalize Korean parents. If at first they don’t like you, prove to them that you are worthy of being their daughter-in-law. My MIL didn’t like me before but she loves me now that she got to know me. Just remember that you will have to adapt to Korean culture and your future husband’s family. You will be a part of their family once you marry him.
There are risks when we get married for the wrong reasons. I will think that it takes a lot of courage to relocate yourself to another country permanently. You have to adapt to another language, culture, lifestyle etc.
I was married to this Korean 7 years ago,actually it was a fixed marriage.The day after we met,we got married.He’s not even my boyfriend and do not know him enough…. Nagawa ko lang po siyang pakasalan for the benefit of my family…Hindi po ako sumama sa kanya sa korea,nag backed out po ako.Ang ginawa po nung mga recruiter binawi lahat ng binigay sakin,even the wedding ring.Gusto ko pong magpakasal ngayon sa boyfriend ko,kaya lang nung kumuha ako ng CENOMAR,i found out that the marriage has been registered.Alam ko rin po na nagpakasal na siya ulit sa ibang babae….wala po akong sapat na kaalaman at kakayahan para masolusyunan ang problema ko,meron po bang makakapagsabi sakin kung anong dapat kong gawin para managot siya sa ginawa niya?Gusto ko na po talagang magpakasal ulit….sana po matulungan niyo ako,nakikiusap po ako….maraming salamat po.
Maghihintay po ako ng sagot…Thanks!!!
HI this is angel I have ah boyfriend korean he want to marry with me he already get marraige documents but my problem i dont know how to make my documents cuz i think is very difficult i hope someone can give to me answer
Hi. I’m curious about dun sa agency na sinasabi nila.
I’m putting up a review doon so I don’t know where to start since wala akong idea sa legality and process how do women get to that agency and then they will get married to a korea. It’s like mail order brides? Please give me some ideas. Thanks.
HI po any suggestion for fix marriage in Korea para maging legal please send email ederlyngutierrez@yahoo.com
Hi Ms Betchay,
I was trawling through the Internet looking at information on Korean culture when I came across your blog…
It really is brilliant & a great way to inform people of cross cultural marriages….
I am the product of one, my mum was English & my dad was Polish… so it was great fun at times in our house when they disagreed 😊
I have no plans to marry again; at 56 I doubt anyone would have me anyway, Korean or English 😂
BUT I just wanted to say…keep up the good work; your blog is really informative… and must be a great help to those considering marrying a Korean man/woman.
From my experience of life I’d say a succesful marriage is down to teamwork & there is no “I” in team.
Wherever you come from, you both have to learn to give & take, respect each others traditions & values…. & yes, when you marry that person, their family become your family… & did you know that it’s scientifically proven that housework keeps a woman fit & can help prevent some types of cancers that only affect women…good reason to vacuum 😊
I doubt if there isn’t a mother in the world that thinks any woman is good enough for her son, but you both have to try to get along with your PIL for the sake of a happy marriage…. but also remember to put each other first… you’re the ones in the marital relationship! But I understand it can be difficult & a challenge when there are cultural differences!
Btw, I think you ladies are so lucky to have maids in your native country…. I wish 😂 …but it isn’t “the done thing” anymore here in the UK (unless you’re the Queen of course 😊).
I hope you & your husband have a long & happy marriage together… I hope you both enjoy the journey…
Remember…
Never go to bed on an argument, make love often, talk to each other a lot, share everything & don’t forget to say “I love you”
God bless & very best wishes to you both xxx
I am a Canadian guy living in the Philippines. I would like to marry a Filipina woman, but live in Korea with her until retirement. Any advice on how to meet a Christian Filipina?